Max's Sister

It was such an emotional night last night. I wanted to share Max's story because I hope that the more we reach out with his story, the more likely that we will find a solution. Perhaps it will be through inspiration, through the prayers of others who read this story, or perhaps it will just help me to organize my thoughts so I can figure out what I am supposed to do to fix that which is not right.

Robert was out last night attending to church business so I thought the boys and I would have a quiet dinner and get to bed early. I put on a new cd that I just received. It is gospel music and so relaxing and pretty! Dima and Alexander were telling me of the weird dreams they have been having recently. Max started to tell me about a dream he had about Anastasia but before he could get the first sentence out he started crying uncontrollably.

I couldn't calm him down and eventually he gave up on dinner and laid on the couch until he could stop sobbing. We joined together for our evening scripture study and Max said he would like to talk to me privately at bedtime. His breath was still catching and with each word he sounded like he would break into tears again.

Later, as I tucked him in, he said that the calm music had made him relax for a minute (this made me wonder how wound up his mind must be if he actually made this connection) and he remembered something really bad that had happened at the orphanage nearly three years ago when he was 7 yrs old.

They had a beat up old bicycle at the orphanage, it was an adult sized one, but all the children could use it as they wished. Anastasia could ride it a little and she took Max out for a ride. He was sitting on the seat and she was standing up pedalling.

Both Max and Dima have told us many stories of the drunken men who would hang out around the orphanage, especially around the playground. The children were all terrified of these men who apparently were always threatening to steal the orphans. We heard a story about one of these men even breaking into the orphanage in a drunken stupor and trying to get into the boy's room late at night. We don't know if these are accurate memories because they don't make much sense but both boys are adament about it. It occurs to us that perhaps these men wanted children to work as their "slaves" (like with cooking, cleaning etc) or perhaps they even had children in the orphanage that they wanted to get back. Who knows? It is also possible that the orphanage workers played these stories up to encourage the kids not to leave the premises.

In any case, as Anastasia and Max were careening down the road, one of these drunken men walked into their path. Anastasia was not very skilled with the bike and didn't know how to stop, Max anticipated what would happen and he jumped off the bike. He said he was terrified that the drunken man would get him and he ran back to the orphanage and ran inside as fast as he could. He saw his sister fall, nearly at the feet of the drunk and he saw that she was hurt, crying and scared. He kept looking back but was so scared himself he could only run away.

He said that when he bacame a Baxter and started to learn about God, he knew that he should have helped his sister that day. He said the thought wouldn't go away from him. He asked me if Heavenly Father knew about the incident with Anastasia and the bicycle and I said that yes, Heavenly Father knows everything and he said, but you promised that when I got baptized Heavenly Father would forget all the bad things that I did before. I assured him that Heavenly Father remembered that incident not because He is mad at Max but because He is sad that Max was scared and sad that Max felt bad about not helping his sister.

He just kept saying over and over, "I should have helped her", "What if I never get to tell her I'm sorry?", "What if I never get to help her?". It was hard to console him because I was torn between my own tears and wanting to lash out at all the imbiciles out there who would hurt children and all the injustices that our keeping our daughter away from our family.

Through his tears though, the ever ingenious Max developed a plan. He wants to write a letter to Ty. Ty is his favorite person because he helps people and he doesn't care about money or anything, he just wants to help people. Ty is a t.v. guy, he is on the show, Extreme Home MakeOvers -- the favorite show of all three of our boys. If you haven't seen this show it is great. They find worthy recipients (truly worthy) and makeover their home in 7 days. Recently, we watched a double header where Ty and his team totally built a new home (in 7 days) for a family whose 8 yr. old daughter had cancer. We all cried through the whole 2 hour show. Robert came home from a basketball game to find us all sniffling and all three boys still up at 9:00 pm!

I tried to explain to Max that Ty is a carpenter not an adoption attorney, but to no avail. He is insistant, so even though we don't even own a home, or even live in the states right now, I guess I will be helping Max write a letter to Ty this weekend! Maybe next time you tune in you will be seeing a team of American carpenters rebuilding the Russian courthouses. Anything to get our daughter home!

Thank you all for your prayers. It is what we need and it keeps me afloat through evenings like last night.